TimO has Vision

One of the things that has made writing this blog so easy is the abundance of readily-available content provided me. Some of that has come in the form of articles written years ago. Some from the personal stories of my own life. And, maybe most importantly, some has come from the people I've had the honor to call friends. People who inspire me to continue working for the greater good - in myself, in my community, and in the world.

Just had to share this one - that's Tim with the gun
in a Nintendo 64 print ad. Hah!

Tim is one of those inspirations. And he did something today that proved that to me once again.

Back in the day (how many times have I written that in this blog?!?!?), Tim and I were both early bloggers. It was 1999. Yes, we blogged before some of you even knew what it was. We blogged before the word even existed.

I was Jimagery. He was Timovision.

This is how we "met." Not sure who made the first move. But two handsome guys, same age, in the blogosphere, it was bound to happen... and it did. Before the new millennium, Tim and I started an email correspondence and were frequent visitors in each others online lives. We learned a lot about each other (our online lives were so extensive that we both had webcams at work uploading images of us in our 9-to-5 days). I was in Chicago. He was in New Jersey. And we did this for a long time but never met.

The Stonewall Room - they've changed it up a bit in the
past decade, but that's the same brass bed we slept in.

Then I moved to San Francisco. A city Tim once called home and, to this day, still loves. Due to this, even though we were now on opposite coasts, we had the opportunity to meet face-to-face. It was more than a year after we met online and, I can't speak for him, but I know I was very excited. And I wasn't let down. We spent much of his vacation together - he even asked me to join him for a dinner meet-up  at Chow with some of his old San Francisco friends. There were other visits after that... most memorable for me is probably the week I spent in NYC during the Christmas season. I was staying at my favorite little place in the city, the Incentra Village House - and even though it was the busy holiday season, I was lucky enough to get my favorite room, the Stonewall Room.

Jim & Tim in the Stonewall Room. I'm shirtless as usual.

As often happens, we lost touch at some point. I wasn't making my annual trips to Manhattan and he wasn't making his to San Francisco. Our blog sites were breathing their last breaths and both became extinct. Like many of us have so often experienced, all we had left were memories of some great times together. Then, as so many of us have also experienced, Facebook became a thing. And we were reintroduced. Kind of. Tim, one of the world's earliest bloggers, didn't jump on the Facebook train as quickly as the rest of us. You see, Tim's priorities were very focused during those years - focused on his addictions. Much of the world of an addict is kept private and definitely not put up on a blog or Facebook. It can be a dark world. Trust me, I have first-hand experience with that one.

Recently, Tim has come back into my life. And come back into his own. He's done this through his recovery. And, this being the month to be thankful, I can honestly say I'm so very grateful this beautiful soul is back in my life. He's once again shown me the guy I came to know and love so much all those years ago. And today, he proved himself again by posting a wonderfully honest status on Facebook... raising the bar for the rest of us and reminding us to live our lives with thought, conscience, and compassion. I've asked his permission to share this story and to copy that status on my blog today. It's pasted below. I  hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me.

And Tim, you and I connected for a reason. We each went through some dark tunnels in our lives - some of them together - but we've both come out into the light again. I feel forever blessed to call you friend. When I set out on my ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles next year, you'll be with me each mile of the journey. And who knows, maybe you'll be there at the finish line to greet me... but don't be surprised if I get down on my knee and.... well, you'll see. I just need to figure out your ring size first!

Tim's Facebook Status, November 18, 2012, around 10 a.m. EST:
____________________________________________

I made a BOLD decision last night. And I'm making one right now too. Let me explain... 

Yesterday I did something I've been wanting to do for a long time. I learned about the volunteer opportunities available for the Trevor project. It's a great organization that was created to help gay youth deal with life. Out of all the opportunities the one that speaks to me most involves going to schools to educate kids about what it means to be gay. 

The bold choice I made was to reveal to the organization that I am in recovery, knowing full well that might disqualify me from working with kids. But here's the thing... How can I possibly help anyone, if I can't be honest about who I am? How can I teach children it's ok to be themselves, if I hide part of my identity? There are people who think I should keep it to myself that I am in recovery, but there is a saying I can refer them too. "You are only as sick as your secrets." 

Keeping secrets from my family about my sexuality is a big part of the reason I turned to drugs to obliterate my feelings. If I am going to be a good role model I need to own up and take responsibility for my mistakes. 

So that's why I told them, that's why I'm telling you. There is nothing brave or special about being honest. In fact, it just makes life easier. Owning your mistakes. Working through your fears. Being true to who you are. These are things to be proud of. These, along with the desire to help others, are the key's to real and lasting happiness. 

Once you free yourself from the shackles of shame. You can finally move forward, fearlessly. Without effort, without blame.

Peace
TEG

_________________________________________

If stories like Tim's inspire you, please take a moment to think about becoming a sponsor for my AIDS/LifeCycle ride. Having Tim in my life provides me the incentive to keep pedaling, but your donations provide so much more to others living with HIV/AIDS.

http://bit.ly/P1N2Nv